|Looking at butterflies near Crater Lake|
I came to this realization yesterday morning when it was chore time and 2 of my children, the girls, were busily working away to earn their quarter per chore. My son had disappeared upstairs and was very quiet. I assumed he was also busily working away on chores, I was wrong. 45 minutes later I called for A and he answered back, "I'm almost done with my card." What? 45 minutes on a card that I thought you had already finished and left on the table. What? you have not been working on your chores. I was angry to say the least. I have been fed up with this child's "when I get around to it" manner of working. I have tried everything from taking away computer time, to room time, to more work, setting a timer and even more chores but nothing moves this child any faster. At the same time all of this was going on, I was preparing us for a much anticipated day at the beach and we need to be out the door in 15 minutes. So, A's basic chores were not even completed and as he moved to do the extra chores, ignoring the basics, because he want to earn money, he breaks down into tears as I tell him he doesn't have time and must finish the basics. Well, I was not gracious and may have been yelling at the poor boy and hubs, who had thrown in his 2 cents during my tirade but praise the Lord I could still hear His voice. That was when it hit me or shall I say God shouted at me. "He's not going to change." A is not going to change, he is who he is--slow, relaxed, casual, focused, disinterested, bored, lazy however, I want to put it, he is God's wonderful creation given to me as a blessing and reward.
|A--@ Grandma's house|
So in that moment, I realized that I had been parenting for 10 years and had been trying to change my children into the personalities I think they should be. My real job is to love these dear children not change them. These children are not my creations or inventions but an expression of God's love to me and the world.
|E--camping @ Jackson Meadows|
So what am I to do with those irritating and frustrating personality traits that are there but I really wish were not? God spoke again straight from his word-- bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). This verse is specifically directed at fathers but I think it is also good advice to us moms. So I can't change their personalities, that is not my job. However, I can train and instruct them in the Lord. So if what they are doing is of no biblical merit them I best learn to shut my mouth. But, if what they are doing is out of line with God's word by all means I should train and instruct. My instruction should be done gentley as stated in 2 Timothy 2:25 so that they can be lead to repentance and knowledge. Some things are my job and some things, like deep personality issues are better left to God. My children belong to the Lord and he is not finished with them or me, for that matter, yet.
This may be one of those duh posts for you, but for me it was a big moment leading to a fresh appreciation for the work of God in all of our lives.
|B--Camping @ Crater Lake|